Regard
by crankyhermit
Summary: Riff is a good servant. A proper servant. Two companion stories written for Imbrii for Yuletide 2003.
1. Not looking

Disclaimer: The series Count Cain is the creation of Kaori Yuki.

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Not Looking

1.  
Riff is a good servant. A proper servant. So he does what he is told, bites his lips on the names he wants to call the Count, and refrains from trying to punch the man out, although he would probably lose if it came to that. And he tries not to see what is before him until it becomes appropriate to do so.

It would be easier, he sometimes thinks, to let slip his control and defy the Count. Then he would be dismissed, and free. But he would have to leave Cain alone, and he can't bear the thought.

2.  
Cain is a beautiful child. Often frighteningly precocious, to be sure, and Riff thinks he will never be used to the knowing gaze of Cain's startling fey eyes, but Cain is beautiful. Riff is not blind. However, he is fairly certain it is not appropriate to think of Cain in such terms, and frankly horrified at himself. He is careful to refrain from looking at Cain with an improper regard. The poor child has enough monsters to fear without having to add Riff to his list. Though, knowing Cain, Riff would be the one to regret making any false move.

3.  
The red weals where the tender skin has split in the middle, and the shock of mottled bruises standing out against Cain's pale back are within the scope of Riff's duties. These are his responsibilities to observe and doctor, and he is glad. Not of the injuries, but that he is allowed to help Cain in this matter.

Cain is grateful as well, and smiles at him with dazzling warmth, making his breath catch. Riff forces himself to focus on treating the wounds, and doesn't smile back. After wavering uncertainly for a moment, Cain's smile fades. Riff is guiltily relieved.

4.  
Cain is growing into a beautiful youth, and he is now the Count. Riff is unspeakably relieved, but Cain still manages to get into more scrapes than Riff ever imagined possible. And for someone so private and self-reliant in every other respect, Cain shows an utter lack of inclination to bathe and dress himself. Not that it is unusual for someone of his social class, but Cain has never concerned himself with the expectations of others either. It is difficult, but Riff refrains from looking. He does not know by heart the delicate tracery of blue veins beneath Cain's skin.

5.  
He's noticed Cain watching him, fine brows knitted with thought. Riff is concerned. Has he let slip his feelings by some unconsidered word or action? He reflects on his recent interactions with Cain, and can't decide what he might have done differently.

Riff steals surreptitious glances at Cain when he's certain Cain cannot see, and otherwise tries his best to look as though he's noticed nothing amiss. He is careful to treat Cain exactly as he does normally. He is Cain's loyal servant, no more, he tells himself. Cain must have no grounds for suspicion.

Cain sighs, and looks away.

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end Not Looking


	2. Looking

Disclaimer: The series Count Cain is the creation of Kaori Yuki.

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Looking

1.  
Cain remembers the first time he saw Riff. Or he thinks he does; it might have been a dream. He remembers Riff speaking to, with him, and being surprised at that, but everything after that was a haze of pain and his father's voice.

Still, when he regained some semblance of clarity, it was to the stinging of cool liquid on his back that hurt nearly as badly as the lashes, applied by tentative hands that shook and barely touched him enough to be useful. Riff looked pale and sickened, but did not leave. So it was not a dream.

2.  
Riff can be like an old man in some ways. His quiet manners, his sense of propriety. Cain knows he surprises Riff, shocks, possibly horrifies him, but Riff doesn't have to look at Cain or what Cain does to see a child he will reach out instinctively to put his arms around, to comfort and protect. In that, he seems innocent, even younger than Cain himself, and Cain doesn't have to think before throwing himself between Riff and harm.

But then Riff will also carry out his commands with unquestioning obedience, even knowing that they will cause harm to others.

3.  
Riff is a good servant, a valued companion. Cain admits he is jealous. Of Riff's attention, and anything that might take Riff away from him. He doesn't think it is anything to be ashamed of. The others, they are petty, ambitious, greedy, dishonest and most of all stupid, trying to take Riff away from him with sex or by clumsy deceit.

Now they are dead or in prison. Deservedly so.

He feels no guilt about it. He merely gave them enough rope with which to hang themselves. And if Riff will not object to his machinations, so much the better.

4.  
Beautiful women are pleasing to look upon, assuredly. He feels protective and chivalrous tendencies towards them to some extent, but they also have the tendency to drop dead in his vicinity. Which is unfortunate, of course, and every time it happens, he has to choke down niggling self-doubt about his inherently evil nature and the curse of his blood, courtesy of his thrice-damned father and the poison he ground into Cain's flesh with his lash - but Cain only has to look at Riff to see a beautiful thing that has not been destroyed by association with him. Not yet.

5.  
Riff is a good servant. A proper servant. Loyal, quietly competent at whatever task set him, perfectly concerned, discreet and so reserved that Cain wants to grab Riff and shake him until his proper face cracks and he tells Cain, Yes, master Cain, I love you, or No, master Cain, I love you and I want to protect you, but you are a child and this makes me uncomfortable, but if Riff can take all that they've yet faced in his stride, Cain's not sure anything can faze him.

Cain sighs, and looks away. At least Riff makes good tea.

end Looking


End file.
